My mind has been pondering over a lot of stuff lately. It’s been overly occupied with the thoughts of the future mainly regarding my occupation. I’ve been a commercial blogger in the past, I used to write blog for money and also had mild success in affiliate marketing. I know that’s all in the past now, I’m a nobody right now. I’ve no savings, none, nada! I’ve been in a rehab for over nine months now for marijuana addiction treatment.
I don’t know what the future holds for me but I’m glad for one thing that I’m now over with this addiction of mine. My mind no more craves for smoking, ok I won’t lie, but it’s rare that the thought of smoking crosses my mind and I’ve learned to deal with it.
There was a time during addiction where it felt like life was going into reverse, when I were supposed to move forward in life, grow and succeed, I was dug deep into addiction. I’ve paid a heavy price for my addiction and sometimes a regretful feeling haunts my thought space but there is nothing I can do about it and I know it.
My loved ones had lost trust over me after I failed to keep the promise to quit smoking. I didn’t fail them just once but again and again, repeatedly. I lost my aim of life and dropped all goals only to satisfy the one single impulse of smoking marijuana. Life had derailed from its path and I didn’t even realize it.
It’s time to recover everything that was lost and it’s going to take a lot of effort and time. I was alone during addiction but now I’ve my family and a group of new friends to support me throughout my recovery.
Coming back to the topic of the future, it still looks a little hazy but I’m optimistic this time. I’ve had enough time to contemplate over myself and the decisions I had taken in past. I came to realize that I was not rationalizing my everyday decisions of life as a result I ended up in the vicious cycle of addiction.
I was abusing marijuana to such a degree that it adversely impacted my mental health. I thought of everyone as an enemy whosoever tried to persuade me out of smoking. Eventually, that resulted in making the relationship sour between my family, friends and me.
I aspire to re-establish my blogging career back on line though I’m also up to take on opportunities that come along my way. I’m currently volunteering for the organization where I took the treatment and it’s really fulfilling to add value to the organization that helped you change your life.