“Delusion arises from anger. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down when reasoning is destroyed.”
– Bhagwad Gita
Anger is a psychological reaction which is triggered when an expected result is unmet. An emotional outburst to an intrinsic or extrinsic change, something which you are not able to cope with and anger finds its way out in form of aggression.
Road rage is a very common example of aggression outburst. I myself had problems with dealing anger issues in past. When you become angry your adrenaline level shoots up and you feel like super human for a brief moment, you want to crush things, break bones and shatter whatever may come your way.
I had a really hard time coping up with my anger and I needed to work on it. Soon I realized that I’m the one who always ends up with a damage due to anger. I wanted to change that. I wanted to not be angry for irrelevant issues, I wanted to learn the art of letting go of the anger.
Acceptance of the problem
I conceded that I had anger management issues and I needed to fix it. I had no idea what I needed to do in order to get over my aggression. I was stranded. I needed a guide who would take me to my destination.
After conceding my anger issues, whenever I would lose my temper, my mind would alert me that I need to control my temper. Also, understanding that fact that we cannot change everything at out will, we have to live with what comes our way and fight the challenges which may come along. Well, this is half the battle won, the remaining fight is a lot tougher.
Mere awareness of the problem will not make the problem go away. It had to be addressed every day, while driving, walking, cooking, waiting on a traffic signal and conversing with someone. I couldn’t allow myself anymore to go all guns blazing at someone for a minor mistake.
Though, my outbursts declined to a significant level but the fire of resentment didn’t go away from within. Keeping the anger within wasn’t helping me anymore, I needed a way out of it.
Anger among addicts
Anger is a common problem among addicts. They find it hard to suppress their anger and frustration. In absence of their substance they get irritated quite frequently.
This unresolved anger then becomes a reason to chase drug/alcohol.
Meditation and yoga
I found out that meditation and yoga are extremely helpful in calming the mind.
I started applying the mindfulness techniques involved in meditation and yoga practices in my everyday life. Initially it seemed extremely challenging to sit in one place quietly with your eyes closed and do nothing, it made no sense, and it seemed like a big hoax that all these sadhus have created about meditation and yoga.
Anyhow, I continued practicing mediation & yoga every day, I knew that nothing is going to happen overnight therefore I kept patience.
Take a long walk
Going for a long walk is not only good for physical health but it also gives you enough time to introspect over yourself. Enjoying the fresh air at a garden, taking a deep breath, feeling the nature and its beauty. It’s a sublime feeling which relaxes your mind and removes the negative energy out of the body.
Including this habit in your lifestyle will help you de-stress and keep your mind calm and composed.
Play a musical instrument
If you are not familiar with any instrument then it’s a great opportunity to learn to play a musical instrument. There is no feeling equivalent to the feeling of producing melodious music out of musical instruments. It’s inexplicable. It is something to be experienced rather than to be expressed in words.
Learn to forgive
It’s one of the most difficult things which you ought to do in order to let go of the resentment from your heart. Holding on to anger doesn’t yield anything productive for you. Forgiveness is a subjective matter. Forgiving someone who has wronged you is a difficult thing. Holding on to the resentment will cause harm to you only and no one else. Do yourself a favor & free yourself from the fire of anger which is dwelling in your heart, just forgive and move on.
Being frustrated neither helps you nor the people around you, nobody likes being associated with a spitfire. Losing temper easily is a sign of your weakness, it shows your incapability to deal with day-to-day activities with ease.
Tame your anger, be in control of your life, do not allow others to control you.